Bikin Panas!

All Hail The King!

2011-07-06T20:43:00.000+08:00

The King has spoken.

It was like a slap in the face.

So you hold roadblocks.

With jams that stretches for hours.

To monitor house break-ins, you say.

But the acid splasher is still at large.

JUST ADMIT YOU LOST LA, YOU IMBECILES!

BIKIN PANAS!

Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof

2011-06-11T11:55:00.000+08:00

It's 3.00am in the freaking morning.

You dog has been barking nonstop for close to two hours.

People are trying to sleep but that incessant barking is annoying.

Aren't you going to do anything about your dog?

OR ARE YOU FREAKING DEAF?

BIKIN PANAS!

The Car And The Bike

2011-03-04T12:10:00.005+08:00

You're riding a motorbike.

I'm driving a car.

It takes you 4 hours to deliver one box of name cards about 15 kilometers away.

I can do that in 30-40 minutes.

WHAT DID YOU DO? WALK THERE?

BIKIN PANAS!

Facebooking?

2011-02-15T11:16:00.001+08:00

I just told you to cut that sticker and pack it up.

I just told you the customer is waiting for it downstairs.

I just told you to make it snappy.

SO WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING FACEBOOKING?

BIKIN PANAS!

DJ Wannabe

2010-12-12T21:16:00.002+08:00

We're not idiots.

You don't have to treat us like small kids.

You don't have to talk to us like some idiot with no brains.

I know you like holding a microphone.

SO WHY DIDN'T YOU BECOME A DJ INSTEAD OF AN ANNOYING FTAAA OFFICIAL?

BIKIN PANAS!

It's My Birthday

2010-09-17T22:22:00.000+08:00

'Boss, I need to take leave today.'

'Urmmm, why? Is everything alright?'

'It's my birthday today.'

'It's your birthday and you want to take leave?'

WHY DON'T YOU ALSO TAKE LEAVE FOR YOUR CAT'S BIRTHDAY?

BIKIN PANAS!

I Understand

2010-08-19T22:14:00.001+08:00

Remember, you have to cut exactly along these two cropping marks.

You must follow this lines and NOT cut the picture.

Just follow the crop marks, do you understand?

(Nods head in the affirmative and proceeds to cut the picture!)

I thought you said you understand.

SO WHY THE HECK DID YOU CUT THE PICTURE?

BIKIN PANAS!

Q-Buster

2010-07-13T21:24:00.001+08:00

Q-Buster, we guarantee you won't queue.

If there is more than two trolleys in front of you,

A new counter will be opened.

But what's the point of having that sign

When you don't honour your pledge.

People still have to stand in long queues.

AND YOU DON'T EVEN OPEN A NEW COUNTER!

BIKIN PANAS!

One Way Street

2010-05-22T20:08:00.001+08:00

It's a one way street.

There's a nice huge sign there even.

The directional arrows on the road is so clear cut.

SO WHY THE HECK ARE YOU DRIVING THE WRONG WAY?

BIKIN PANAS!

Where's The Updates?

2010-04-29T19:40:00.000+08:00

You start a new blog.

Then you ignore the blog.

Weeks and sometimes months go by before you post anything.

If you're not going to blog much here,

THEN WHY THE HECK DID YOU CREATE THIS BLOG?

BIKIN PANAS!

The Cheats That Are Blog Advertising Store

2010-04-06T08:13:00.000+08:00

I do work for you.

When I'm done, you pay me.

It's as simple as that, isn't it?

THEN WHY THE HECK DO YOU SUSPEND MY ACCOUNT?

BIKIN PANAS!

No Small Change

2010-03-13T20:06:00.001+08:00

We don't have change for RM50.00!

What? You're a restaurant right?

Yes, but we don't have change for RM50.00!

BUT YOU'RE A RESTAURANT! YOU SHOULD HAVE SMALL CHANGE!

BIKIN PANAS!

Hot! Hot! Hot!

2010-02-24T19:12:00.001+08:00

Why oh why do you have to be so hot?

Is it not enough that I'm sweating buckets daily?

And then you go and send the rain that last all of 2 minutes.

Which only helps to heat up the place even more.

In turn making me sweat even more buckets of sweat!

WHY DON'T YOU JUST FRY US UP AND BE DONE WITH?

BIKIN PANAS!

You Blind Or What?

2010-02-20T22:38:00.002+08:00

That dish has been in that position for FOUR months!

And only today you noticed it?

And only today you tell me that it's infringing into your compound?

And only today you insist I remove it?

Damn you to hell!

THERE GOES RM220.00 OF HARD EARNED MONEY!

BIKIN PANAS!

First Come First Served!

2010-02-11T19:39:00.001+08:00

There are only 3 customers in your cafe.

You take our order first before the other two.

But why is it that they get their food and drinks before us?

Don't you know the term, 'first come, first served?'

AND YOUR FOOD TASTED LIKE CRAP TOO!

BIKIN PANAS!
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Practice A Little Patience

2010-02-03T23:33:00.001+08:00

I know it's a two way street.

And Just because it's a two way street that doesn't give you the right to cue jump.

And it doesn't give you the right to drive on the wrong side too.

There are children on the roads, why can't you people be a little patient?

What the heck are you rushing for that you MUST break the rules?

YOUR BLOODY OWN FUNERAL?

BIKIN PANAS!
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How I Miss You!

2010-01-17T23:55:00.000+08:00

I've been craving for you all week.

That's 7 bloody whole days.

I couldn't sleep nights thinking about you.

I couldn't wait to smell your lovely scent.

I couldn't wait to savor your scintillating taste.

But why oh why did you have to close today of all days!

I REALLY WANTED TO EAT CURRY PORK NOODLES TODAY!

BIKIN PANAS!

Where Is The Justice?

2010-01-11T09:38:00.000+08:00

Here I am trying my best to get PR for my other two main blogs.

I tweak it, read up on how to improve PR.

I write decent posts. I post regurlarly.

And what happens?

This blog gets a PR2 instead.

WHERE IS THE JUSTICE?

BIKIN PANAS!

Gardenia, So Good You Can Even Eat It On Its Own!

2010-01-06T10:14:00.000+08:00

You people at Gardenia must have been waiting like crooks.

The moment the clock hit 12.00 am, you laughed gleefully.

You couldn't wait to increase the price of your loaf of bread.

The price of sugar went up by 20 sen and your bread price went up by 30 sen!

Good God, do you even use that much sugar in your loaf of bread?

DOES IT JUSTIFY A 30 SEN INCREASE? CROOKS, THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE!

BIKIN PANAS!

No Internet = Boredom

2009-12-24T09:50:00.001+08:00

The office internet is down.

And just because of that you take half day leave and go home?

Siting boredom as the reason?

Good god, you're paid to do work and not surf in the office.

MIGHT AS WELL JUST STAY HOME FOREVER!

BIKIN PANAS!

Leave Me Alone!

2009-11-27T00:03:00.000+08:00

I know you're older than me considerably.

I know you think you know more than me.

I know you're only trying to be helpful.

But I'm not stupid! I know how to do my work!

I don't need to be told, especially by someone who doesn't understand what I do!

SO PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME TO DO MY WORK IN PEACE!

BIKIN PANAS!

Taste Testing

2009-11-22T11:59:00.002+08:00

Location : Tesco

Son runs up to take a sample from one of the taste test promoters.

She looks at him and starts grumbling in Chinese at him. (I understand Chinese).

You're there to let people sample your products before they even purchase it.

So, why are you grumbling at a little boy for sampling your products?

Might as well not even have a taste test booth there at all then!

DO YOU EVEN KNOW THE MEANING OF TASTE TESTING?

BIKIN PANAS!

Please Click My Ads

2009-10-26T08:17:00.002+08:00

Got this private message from my Blog Catalogue inbox for my Anything Goes blog.

'Hi, my name is Anna. I found your blog interesting.

I have clicked all your advertisements in your blog.

Please do the same for mine.'

For your information Anna, I don't have any ads for that blog!

IF YOU'RE GOING TO SUCKER ME TO CLICK YOUR ADS, AT LEAST MAKE SURE YOU REALLY READ MY BLOG!

BIKIN PANAS!

Mind Reader

2009-10-22T09:47:00.003+08:00

Day 1

Client: 'Print this exactly as it is, don't change anything from the artwork! I'll collect it tomorrow.'

Me: 'Sure thing, ma'am.'

Day 2

Client (in irritated tone): 'Aiyaaa, the size is wrong!!!'

Me: 'You said don't change anything and furthermore you didn't leave me a mock-up.'

Client: 'Why didn't you call me and tell me the size is wrong???'

Me (in even more irritated tone): 'Hey STUPID! Weren't you the one who said don't touch your artwork at all! Weren't you the one who failed to provide me with a mock-up so I could at least compare the print out?'

YOU EXPECT ME TO READ MINDS, AH?

BIKIN PANAS!

Exclusively Malaysian

2009-09-18T09:34:00.003+08:00

'Chilli crab is Malaysian. Hainanese chicken rice is Malaysian. We have to lay claim to our food,' she lamented.

In the three months, we will identify certain key dishes (to declare as Malaysian).

We have identified laksa ... all types of laksa, nasi lemak and bak kut teh ...

And this brilliant idea is coming from our learned Mister of Tourism, Ng Yen Yen.

Pure genius! Way to go! Bravo!

DON'T YOU CLOWNS IN THE GOVERNMENT HAVE ANYTHING REALLY BETTER TO DO???

BIKIN PANAS!

I'm A Spammer!

2009-08-25T10:56:00.002+08:00

'Your blog at: http://dream-themes.blogspot.com/ has been identified as a potential spam blog', the email said.

'Your blog will be deleted in 20 days if it isn't reviewed', the email went.

'And your readers will see a warning page during this time', it continued.

'We find spam by using an automated classifier', it went on.

'Automatic spam detection is inherently fuzzy', it explained further.

'And occasionally a blog like yours is flagged incorrectly', it droned.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU GET YOUR SPAM DETECTION TO WORK A LITTLE BETTER, THEN?

BIKIN PANAS!

You Mean I Have To Pay?

2009-08-18T23:37:00.003+08:00

A customer walks in.

'Can you print this piece of certificate for me?' He asks.

'Sure, no problem.' I say

'Here you are, sir. That'll be RM7.00, please.' I say

'What? You mean I have to pay for a test print?' He says.

Huh? What? You expected that for free?

Of course you have to pay, you moron!

WHAT DO YOU THINK WE RUN HERE? A CHARITABLE ORGANIZATION?

BIKIN PANAS!

The Abuse Machine

2009-07-27T13:03:00.003+08:00

I don't know, maybe you didn't get 'it' last night.

Or maybe you woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

Or maybe you're incensed with someone.

Or maybe you just love being angry on a Monday.

But letting it out on the poor digital printer won't help.

BESIDES, THAT MACHINE COST RM98,000.00, YOU MORON!

BIKIN PANAS!

The Beemer

2009-07-08T15:14:00.002+08:00

There I am driving within the speed limit.

And on the slow lane of a 3 lane highway.

And there you come flashing your lights and honking at me.

Did I just mention it was a 3 lane highway? And that I was on the slow lane?

Did I also mention all the other lanes were empty?

So why the heck don't you overtake like a normal human being would do?

JUST BECAUSE YOU DRIVE A FREAKING BMW DOESN'T MEAN YOU OWN THE ROADS!

BIKIN PANAS!

A Plaster For Your Back?

2009-06-25T10:09:00.003+08:00

I walk into a pharmacy to get some painkillers for my back.

'Excuse me Miss, do you have any pain killers for backaches?"

She looks at me in this weird way and walks to one of the shelves.

Then she heads back and hands me a plaster, the kind you use on wounds!

Do I look like I have a wound on my back that needs a plaster?

I need pain killers, pills, capsules, liquid form, whatever ...

But most definitely not a plaster for wounds.

AND JUST HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU PRESCRIBED THE WRONG MEDICATIONS TO?

BIKIN PANAS!

A Wife's Rant!

2009-06-17T19:21:00.004+08:00

*a rant on behalf of wifey*

She walks to the counter with a bag of chips to pay for them.

The cashier doesn't even look at her and asks her to walk to the other end to weigh the chips.

But the weighing machine is just next to you.

No, she insists on wifey walking to the other end to weigh the chips.

But the freaking weighing machine is just next to you, you moron!

Why the heck are you so lazy?

Wifey takes the chips and flings everything back into the counter in a fit!

SERVES YOU RIGHT! YOU LAZY MORON!

BIKIN PANAS!

El Cheapo!

2009-06-12T15:14:00.002+08:00

I'm only here to install your backdrop.

I'm not the one who did the artwork.

I'm not the one who measured the place.

Neither am I the one who was too cheap to hire a professional designer.

So why the heck are you looking at me as if I'm at fault?

GO SCREAM AT YOUR FREAKING FREELANCE DESIGNER!

BIKIN PANAS!

The School Holidays

2009-06-03T20:06:00.003+08:00

I know it's the school holidays.

I know you have a kid.

I know you need to spend time with your kid.

But do you have to bring him to work with you?

And does he have to be a destructive little loud mouth who yells his lungs out?

People are trying to work here you know!

THIS IS AN OFFICE NOT A FREAKING NURSERY!

BIKIN PANAS!

H20

2009-05-27T07:48:00.002+08:00

You wake up early in the morning to prepare the kids for school.

You walk into the bathroom and turn on the tap.

You're greeted with nothing but a steady hiss of air.

You call the customer service line to inquire.

They have no idea why they isn't any water. Never mind.

You call again after an hour and a half.

They still have no idea what's the cause and when the supply will return.

I need to go to work. I need to bathe. The wife needs to cook for the boys.

AND YOU STILL DON'T KNOW THE REASON FOR THE INTERRUPTION?

BIKIN PANAS!

Great Customer Support

2009-05-23T15:09:00.002+08:00

My connection is acting up.

I can't get access at all to the internet.

I call up customer support to get help.

After keeping me on hold for nearly 15 minutes,

They tell me to do a trace cert (whatever the heck that is),

and email them the results otherwise they can't figure out what's wrong.

BUT I HAVE NO CONNECTION YOU MORONS! HOW AM I GOING TO EMAIL YOU ANYTHING?

BIKIN PANAS!

And The Winner Is ...

2009-05-21T13:17:00.004+08:00

I stayed away from blogging all day.

I even switched off the radio.

I just wanted to be safe.

I didn't want to accidentally stumble upon it.

But what do you do?

You happily shout out in joy telling me who won American Idol!

You freaking idiot! I didn't want to know!

I wanted to enjoy the show tonight and anxiously wait for the results!

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A FREAKING MORON?!!!

BIKIN PANAS!

First Commenter

2009-05-15T15:44:00.003+08:00

Some people work all day for a living.

With hardly any time to even take a toilet break.

The work piles up from the moment I step into the office.

But why is it some people can get 5 FC's in a row on a working day?

NO NEED TO WORK, AH?

BIKIN PANAS!

Step On It!

2009-05-10T00:13:00.003+08:00

You're about a mile away.

You can see me clearly about to cross the road with my kids.

You were driving down the road slowly, until you saw me trying to cross.

You could have kept on driving at that pace and let us cross safely.

THEN WHY THE HECK DO YOU SPEED UP LIKE A MANIAC JUST AS WE ARE ABOUT TO CROSS!

BIKIN PANAS!

Professional Courtesy

2009-05-08T19:12:00.002+08:00

You call me for a meeting. An urgent one you say.

I rush all the way to your place in the blazing heat, braving the traffic.

We start the meeting and you explain how urgent your needs are.

Your cell rings and without so much as an excuse me, you answer your cell.

Where the heck are your manners? I thought you said we had urgent things to discuss?

SO WHY THE HECK CALL ME OVER IF YOU'RE GOING TO IGNORE ME AND TALK ON YOUR CELL!

BIKIN PANAS!

I'm Good!

2009-04-30T15:04:00.004+08:00

Didn't you say you were proficient with Illustrator and Photoshop when you first joined us?

Didn't you say that you have heaps of experience in production?

Didn't you say that you can work really fast?

And didn't you say that you could even work without supervision?

SO WHY THE HELL DO YOU KEEP ON BUGGING ME WITH ENDLESS QUESTIONS?

BIKIN PANAS!

The Immigration Expert

2009-04-24T12:54:00.002+08:00

I'm busy and up to my neck with work.

You keep interrupting me and asking me abut your visa application to the US.

You incessantly bombard me with stupid and silly questions.

You can see I'm struggling try to get my work done in time.

I work in the same advertising industry as you and not in the immigration department.

SO HOW IN HEAVEN'S NAME WOULD I KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT APPLYING A VISA!

BIKIN PANAS!

Snail Mail ...

2009-04-21T18:01:00.004+08:00

Nick, can you come over and collect the pix? I've burned it into a CD already.

Urmm, can you just email it to me?

But the file is about 1MB la.

You expect me to drive all the way to your office in KL,

Negotiate rush hour traffic, pay ridiculously exorbitant parking,

Just to pick a 1MB CD? You must be joking, you moron!

HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OF BROADBAND?

BIKIN PANAS!

24 Hour Convenience!

2009-04-14T18:17:00.003+08:00

24 hour banking it says. For your convenience it rambles on.

And they boast of 10 high tech ATM machines even.

So why does practically all but one machine say that it's temporarily offline?

And even then, that only machine cannot dispense cash.

So, what does 24 hour banking mean to you morons?

MIGHT AS WELL GO BACK TO THE STONE AGES!

BIKIN PANAS!

It's Raining Again ...

2009-04-10T17:32:00.004+08:00

The sky is black. An impending storm looms.

The trees sway with the wind.

The distant thunder sounds its warning.

The flashes of lightning adorns the sky.

SO WHY THE HECK ARE YOU WATERING THE PLANTS?!!!

BIKIN PANAS!

The Rudeness Of The Matter ...

2009-04-08T12:48:00.002+08:00

There I am sitting at my table, typing away on my laptop.

He just walks in (as usual) and peeks over my shoulder at what I'm typing.

And he continues standing and reading over my shoulder without a care in the world.

Haven't you heard of manners and privacy, you stupid moron!

I tell him so and he walks away with a shake of his head. Good Riddance!

I ABSOLUTELY HATE WITH PEOPLE WITH NO MANNERS!

BIKIN PANAS!

Of Clean Plates!

2009-04-07T15:55:00.002+08:00

You're just about to eat. You pick up a plate.

There's still remnants of unwashed food on it!

If you have no intention of washing the plates cleanly ...

then don't bother washing it at all!

This is not the first time.

Neither is it the second or even third time!

I DISLIKE UNHYGIENIC PEOPLE!

BIKIN PANAS!

Inconsiderate And Plain Annoying!

2009-04-03T16:26:00.004+08:00

I hate inconsiderate people.

There you are having a nice chit chat with a friend at the coffee shop.

Along comes an acquaintance and plonks his unwelcomed ass at your table.

And then he pulls out his cigarettes and lights up and clogs the place with his smoke.

Not caring that the people he's with don't smoke and don't fancy breathing some crap that comes out of his filthy lungs!

I HATE INCONSIDERATE PEOPLE!

BIKIN PANAS!

The First Rant!

2009-04-02T15:38:00.002+08:00

He walks in, picks up the quote on my table, reads its.

Picks up the mock ups on my table, looks at it and make silly comments on it.

Checks the plastic bag full of name cards.

Lights up a cigarette and pollutes the place.

Makes a phone call for half an hour on the office phone.

Then he just leaves.

AND HE DOESN'T EVEN WORK HERE!

BIKIN PANAS!